What I've learned over the last 20 months living low carb... Whew! What a ride!

"It doesn't matter if you know where your going, as long as you know where you've been"-  adapted from 'Mater and the movie Cars

So here we are, close to 20 months after the first post that was so full of HOPE! 

Full of hope and positivity, a personal trait that has the outside display of happy but self doubt and negativity lurking immediately below the surface. Starting, yet again, to run to the finish line of self satisfaction I so desperately wanted to achieve, yet continued to fall short and feel defeated.

In reflection, it is interesting in the first post, I set a baseline for "if I lost this much in this amount of time, I should be at this number by this date"

.... BULLS#IT. 

Like the very popular animated Disney movie says "Let it go,  -Let it go..." 

I have come to realize that I can not set a time perimeter on the process of dropping the weight I needed and desperately wanted to lose. My body would respond in it's own good time and I just needed to be *VERY* consistent in my approach.

I now have 20 months (T-W-E-N-T-Y- months !!!) under my belt of consistently eating a low carb, 

(lots of vegetables) and high protein (focused on protein each meal) diet and am currently down 65 lbs. 

*seriously*

Crazy part, it has not been that hard. 

(I know!)

After years, and I mean YEARS of feeling the struggle of controlling my eating, counting points, counting Fat/ Protein/ Carb ratio's, not eating, over eating, binge eating, even being a fitness instructor for twelve years with 15 + hours a week of cardio classes and actually exercising to the point of stress fractures, but seeing next to no results, reading, obsessing, yearning for normalcy... it finally kicked in and worked.

What clicked? Was it my mental state of surrender? 

I couldn't stand it any more! I didn't like the reflection or image I was putting out into the universe. I really didn't like having photos taken of me, was trying to find clothes to fit, felt all around frumpy and bumpy. Not good. 

That alone is a lot of mental negative self talk! 

I told a dear friend recently who is at the beginning of her journey, you have to WANT it. I mean, really want IT. 

I think I finally wanted to get thinner / healthier / fitter more than I wanted to eat the roll, drink a classic coke, or have a cookie. I just needed a little nod to success. 

As mentioned, I re read Idiot Proof Diet by these hilarious British ladies on their personal journeys, and decided, I was going to be like India. I was going to "do this" and not make excuses (like Neris... sorry Neris) or let myself down. (*huge AH- HA note there... would never let someone else down but tended to do it to myself... regularly)

so.....

I have kept journals, measurements and notes along the way. I will share them and reflect in future posts. It has not been a fast process... like I said above, I completely let the timeline go... it has been 20 months, and now down 65 lbs, so that is 3.8 lbs a month. Previously (or with a WW points / weekly meeting mentality) I would have bagged this a year ago. 

But I didn't.

I kept focusing on 2 things. 

1) Staying "on plan", which was high protein and low carb eating. Aiming for 25-30g or less per day. 

2) Testing with the ketosis strips. If I remained "in the pink" it was proof I was "on plan" whether the scale showed any success or not, the strip made me continue to the next feeding determined.

In a very short time, like between September and December of 2013, I had lost some weight, 

(about 15- 20 lbs) and I noticed changes in how clothes fit or occasionally receiving comments and encouragement, and that helped spurred me on. 

The truth of the matter was, within about the first week, I felt so much better, was really hopeful and enjoyed my meals and snacks, that between a minimal weight loss, and a little additional pep to my step... I was onto something!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WHEW!-- What a Ride!"

Attributed to Bill McKenna, Anonymous and in a Nissan ad.